I never thought in terms of possessing personal power. Living and working in hierarchal systems tends to rob one of believing in their own power. We assume that only the managers at work or the city councilors at home have the power.
My condo neighbors believe that I am powerful. When something needs to be fixed, I call up the condo association, and they fix it. Instead of waiting for someone else to act, I took responsibility. I believe that if you want something done, you need to do it yourself. For me, power is taking responsibility and doing something about the problem.
Witnessing the power to control occurs often. People, who feel powerless, exert their power over someone weaker. For example, a religious group leader once accused me of slander. Then, she told me that she would monitor me. If I failed to obey her, I would be banned. But if I left her group voluntarily, I was guilty. I asked the leader what she considered slanderous. Her answer was, “You know what you did. And it would degrade us both for me to tell you.” How could I stop doing something if I had no clue?
After asking several people, I found out. I complained about an event that she had organized. Since I had paid admission, I was upset about how disorganized the event was. In an effort to improve next year’s event, the person, who I had complained to, told her. The group leader took umbrage, and called my complaints, slander.
Since that group was not important to me, I left. When I made my choice to leave, I exercised the power to prevent. Although we still travel in the same social circles, I refuse to live in fear of this person. I also refuse to accept guilt for complaining about lousy service.
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All art is copyrighted by Maryann Sterling
Va. Carper